Wrestling Match in My Head
Have you ever wrestled with a gnarly issue, large or small, business or personal, which at the moment seemed without a solution? I think I can safely say we all have and it “ain’t no fun” as my PawPaw used to say. Brooding, stewing over, grinding through these life-speed bumps, our thoughts seem to take control and unfortunately, they are all dark.
Recently, I had a challenge dealing with an issue which involved the trifecta of frustrating players (government, insurance company, former employer….yikes does it get any more complicated?) We all know how frustrating long waits on hold, voicemails, unanswered emails, directions to handle it through the website, etc. can be. Just give me a reasonable and responsible human any day. Please. The result for me was a cycle of stewing over my complex situation, and nights waking up wondering how to navigate through it all. I didn’t like myself in this headspace.
The kicker was that I knew that the real problem for me was the loss of control (I had none) as well as a sense of not being heard or acknowledged (no humans who seemed to give a darn). Intellectually I knew that the BIG issue was me and my thoughts about the tangle and I could control that. It didn’t stop the angst of worrying about the outcome.
I knew without a doubt that there would be a resolution, that things would work out, and most importantly that WORRYING ABOUT IT DID ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD. The voice in my head grappled with the knowledge that my thoughts were 110% negative energy. Woman! Wake up, this is not about the bureaucratic knot that will be untangled. The problem is the negative thinking and the feeling around a lack of control.
So what steps might I take to deal with all of this uncertainty?
Do what I could do to be prepared with accurate information, documentation, and facts. I collected copies of everything (in triplicate).
Determine a way to actually interact with a human, face to face (this isn’t always possible, but persistence pays off).
Most importantly, know that a resolution WOULD happen and that my need to control the situation did no good and in fact, made suffering worse for me. Let it go!
And lastly, each time the thought would arise “how will this turn out” I recall my belief that the universe has my back and this issue was merely a blip on my life’s radar which would be resolved. Again, let it go.
As we all know, it’s not the actual issue that causes us the most suffering; it is the worry in our heads. All will be well. As it always is.